So I went clubbing on friday ---with a group of badass balkan people: (greeks, serbs, albanians, bosnians, and croats...) and ended up crashing at some (very nice) serbian kids' house for the night. (to the exteme horror of my parents who would very much not like it if something happened to me. i umm forgot to call them before not coming home.)
Luckily for me though, Marko and Danilo (my makeshift hosts) were very kind, and very hopsitable, and made a nice bed for me on their couch--complete with pillows, and blankets, and some pizza in case i got lonely.
The girls I came with, Azra (the bosnian) and Anastasia (the grecian) both did a considerably better job of holding their alcohol than I did. I had a mojito at the beginning of the night, followed by a glass of wine.... 7 hours later--at which point I was declared unfit to drive. (by a kid from serbia-- where public inebbriation is considered patriotic.)
THAT REMINDS ME: If any of you are interested in local yugo hotspots, you should check out MYNT. It's a sweet club owned by macedonians... and frequented by the horny balkan populace of columbus. (i really made it sound appealing there, didn't i?)
I don't have anything insightful or conclusive to say about my evening but for some reason it made me very happy. (although i wouldn't recommend spontaneous sleepovers with random serbs-- they tend to favor rape as a tool of war, which begs the question... what tools do they favor in times of love? I mean, besides papa johns.)
So yesterday i got my hair cut again-- and it looks absolutley fabulous and sexy (while lending me a vaguely bicurious edge. mmmhmm.)
It's lucky for me that i love short hair because it means i get rid of my split ends on a monthly bases. For those of you, however, who cannot\do not rock the shorn locks look, might i suggest investing into a bottle of Bumble and bumble creme de coco hair masque? Seriously, that shiz will make your hair softer than a babies bottom. (and yes, i know these aren't the exactly the best times to be throwing away money on beauty products, but neither are they an excuse to have shriveled drying cells coming out of your head.)
That's why i am supplying the money-challenged with a much cheaper alternative to pricey hair masks--- are you ready for this? EGGS! crack one open .. siphon out the yolk, and massage it into hair. (then don't forget to wash out. Nobody looks good with crusty fowl fetus in their tresses.)
ALSO: For those of you who ARE thinking of snipping off those follicles, but don't know where to begin, here's one practical cut that looks good on everybody. see? simple and classy. (don't go any shorter the first time... make slow gradual adjustments, or you might end up looking like victoria beckham... minus the pretty dresses.)
So like, aren't you glad i cleared that up? I should totally start a beauty column--- like a feminist beauty column that promotes cruelty free products, (ok so maybe eggs aren't the best example of that) frugalty, and giant bushes.
So how beautiful was Michelle Obama last Tuesday? i've always been so struck by how regal, and dignified she manages to look. (unlike Sarah Palin who mostly comes off as trashy and cheap-- and no, this has nothing to do with class or money. The most dignified woman i've ever met was a poor Bosnian mother--- who raised two kids on 400 dollars a month. So... elitism's got nothing to do with it. Palin is CHEAP because she behaves that way. *wink wink* who does that at a debate?!)
But I digress. I guess the point I wanted to make today, is that even in light of Michelle's exceptional grace, the lack of modern-day black female role models remains GLARING. This of course is due primarily to the media's tendency to overlook strong black women--while focusing only on those sistahs who reinforce negative stereotypes. (for example,the notion that women of color are crass and obnoxious.... which couldn't be further from the truth.) That's why it's so refreshing to see a powerful African American figure like Michelle Obama, who exemplifies dignity and poise-- characteristics usually associated with white nobility.
And that's why i've compiled a brief list of badass black broads who deserve as much attention and respect as their overrated white counterparts. (Angeline Jolie comes to mind....)
SO here are some of my black inspirations: 1) Gwen Ifill (the lovely bitch who moderates the vice presidential debates.) Ifill is one hot feminist broad, who did what most of us could only dream of-- put Dick Cheney in his goddamn place. Four years ago, at the VP debates, when Cheney demanded 30 extra seconds to make his point, Gwen cut him off with a stern "sorry, that's all you got." (Yes, Dick, the rules apply to you too.)
2)Toni Morrison, who wrote one of my all time FAVORITE books "The Bluest Eye."
It's because of this book that i've come to accept the many sick and painful truths about race and privilege, which so urgently fuel and inspire my feminist values. It's a must-read.
3) Cynthia McKinney who ran for president of the united states in 2008. (Mmmhm!) This naturally makes her waaay cooler than Barrack Obama, cause not only was she an African American presidential candidate, but also a woman. . **For the record, she ran for the Green Party, which explains why you've never heard of her. And also why she didn't win--( along with the fact that she's black and a woman.)
4) Mariane Pearl-- (annoyingly, but not surprisingly enough, portrayed by WHITE actress Angelina Jolie in the film adaption of her life.) Pearl is a remarkable journalist\activist who's husband Daniel Pearl was decapitated by anti-semitic Islamic extremists, WHILE MARIANE WAS PREGNANT WITH THEIR SON. Amazingly enough, she managed to rise above the evil that was done to her family and fight for justice...
Anyone else have an African American role model they'd like to name?
So.. call me sentimental, but I can't help but agree with Obama, when he said that his victory was our victory. We won! We did it! We took America back! And I am so thrilled and proud to have been part of the process!
From spending hours in the sun, registering underprivileged African Americans, wide-eyed students, the homeless-- people who up until now, had never been given a voice (much less an incentive to claim one)-- to eventually casting my own ballot, I managed to get a glimpse of that elusive "American spirit." That crazy quality that makes America so fucking sweet. Yes we were unified, yes we all fought for the same thing. And yes, America does indeed kick ass-- Obama's victory more than proved that.
After eight years of false leadership, we finally have a president who will fight for us! Fight for women! Fight for equality!
WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!
First Question: why is there a 16 year old featured on a Russian mail-order bride site?
16 year old Liza Romanova describes herself as "faithful, understanding and even-tempered" K great... except that she's barely out of puberty.
ugh. What kind of sick fucks go woman-shopping like this, anyway?
Secondly why are people losing their shit about proposition 8? Don't get me wrong, I 100% support gay marriage, .. but quite frankly gay rights is a privileged issue. I'm more concerned about the little gay kids all around the world, who.... you know, don't have enough to eat. People starve every day, and no one makes as a big a deal about that as they do about gay marriage.
That being sad, FUCK EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED PROPOSITION 8.
LASTLY:
OBAMA WON! I was so overwhelmed with joy upon hearing the news, that I.. ran out of words. All I can say is : I AM FINALLY PROUD TO CALL MYSELF AN AMERICAN.
So I'm feeling super shitty right now, and here's why:
1) I am so freaking nostalgic for Bosnia--- Like, I tear up thinking about it. I miss my kids INSANE amounts... * dramatic sigh* I know I should not have (so readily) assumed the role of mama bear.... but it's too late now. I can't unattach myself... They're my babies forever.
You know, i'm not even sure what triggered this (most) recent wave of wistful longing, but I suspect it has something to do with a series of letters i just received from some of my favorite students. Or maybe I'm just premenstrual. Who the fuck knows.
2) I'm anxious about graduating... and not being able to do what I love, in the face of this global economic shitstorm. I'm technically slated to go to Russia for a year--- which is the obvious step, before hoofing it to grad school. But...what I REALLY want is to go back to Bosnia and continue doing humanitarian work-- for an extended period of time. Or move to the Balkans for good--I just want to go back! I dont care if I get paid like, nothing. I'd seriously be ok working 20 hours a day, if it meant I could witness/incite progress in the region ( and be reunited with my cubs. :D)
And yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't get it out of my head. I hate that there are so many orphans-- even in a small town like Gracanica. I hate the ACTIVE segregation of Catholic and Muslim Children in Bosnian\Herzegovinian schools. I hate that whenever anybody from the outside comes in to help, they end up acting like culturally superior assholes. I hate that my students have to be AFRAID of crossing the border into Republika Srpska-- because (in practice) the law won't protect them over there. (Also, for that matter, I hate that Republika Srpska even exists-- it shouldn't. That land should belong to the federation-- and as such, should be diversely populated-- instead of being under strict Serb control.)
Also Cevapi are good, and I hate that you can't buy them in Ohio.
mmmm!
3) I'm super nauseated right now, and have been for a while. (although, I generally avoid bringing it up, as such afflictions are always met with an exaggerated eyebrow raise-- because obviously, women aren't supposed to feel queasy unless they're enfetused. Bleeeh.
4) I HATE Sarah Palin's faux-feminist rhetoric. For example last week she said "[Obama] talks about things like equal pay for equal work, but according to Senate records, women on his staff get just 83 cents for every dollar that the men get. What is with that? Does he think that the women aren't working as hard? Does he think they're 17 percent less productive?"
Wow what genuine concern for women.....Too bad she's running with the guy who opposed the equal pay act. [OH SNAP!] It's true Obama's not perfect, and women have every right to demand more from him-- but between McCain and Obama-- Obama is inarguabley the more feminist candidate. His voting record shows it--- just like his pro-choice position.
So Sarah Palin needs to a) go fuck herself, and b) stop pretending to speak for women. She does NOT speak for me. ....
K, I feel better now that i've ranted. Other than that, things are good here. This weekend, I went to a superfun Balkan birthday party-- and yugo'd about with some crazycool comrades. The party was for this dude named Vladimir-- i mentioned him and his girlfriend in a bitchy post from Freshman year. (oops.) They are actually quite lovely. Especially Petra, She's lots of fun, and very sweet and smart. :)
LASTLY I want to end with a little love for the one that got away-- Ms. Hillary Clinton. Bitch just turned 61, and she's still so friggin hot. CLINTON IN 2012!
If you were going to marry your boyfriend, what would your name be? complicated.
What did you do this afternoon? i studied... a lot.
When do you plan on having kids or your next kid? not sure yet if I want to HAVE one, or adopt one. We'll see. (after working in a bosnian orphanage this summer, i'm leaning more towards adopt.)
Do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them? yeah. um, but why would i want to embarass him?
Can you take a bra off with one hand? hang on....... yes i can.. kinda. Ow.
Can you use chopsticks? for prodding. and eating food, if i feel like it.
How old were you when you lost your first tooth? six. it fell out while i was eating pasta. (great story, right?)
Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I alternated between the two. Somewhat dramatically.
Why did you throw up last? too traumatic. i blocked that memory out.
Last time you were drunk? ok, first of all, with my alcohol tolerance, i get DRUNK after one drink. So you know... a couple nights ago. What's for dinner? corn tortilla with black beans and avocado.
Ever been to the Statue of Liberty? yeah but i didn't get to go inside. cause she's a fucking tease.
How many e-mail addresses do you have? Two.
Do you HAVE to have brand name stuff? i do not.
Last time you washed your hair? This morning.
Do you send out Thank-You cards? No. but i believe in them.
Can you ice skate? I used to take lessons, but that was years ago.
Do you know how to change a diaper? i probably can. dont know why I would, though. poo is not among my favorites.
Do you flip people off while driving? i flip off people while doing... lots of things.
What colour is your car? blue. (oh, and it currently sports a very prominent OBAMA bumper sticker. mmmhm.)
Would you take a bullet for anyone? my sister... except when she's being stingy with her gum.
Do you keep a planner? Yes, and it's filled with lists.
What are you wearing exactly? exactly clothes.
Do you like to grocery shop? in bosnia. cause i'd always by stuff for my kids-- like, treats and supplies, and that made me happy.
What kind of mood are you in? some moody kind(s)
Last time you cleaned? last night. cause my dad came into my room and was like "YOUR BOOKS ARE EVERYWHERE AHHHHH"
Did you get an Easter basket? um..of halloween candy.
Do you do your own laundry?...
Do you go tanning? Pffft. no. What kind of self-destructive, idle bullshit is that?
Baths or showers? showers. i dont exactly enjoy lying in my own filth. (although i do enjoy lying in other people's filth.)
Do you take out the trash? yea...
Are you getting engaged any time soon? Mmkay, now we're being hetero-monogamo-centric.
What's the best part about being single? Allowing yourself to explore the possibility of intensifying/redifining old/new relationships?
Paper or Plastic? Neither! You should use, and re-use the same canvass bag when you go shopping-- that way resources don't go to waste.
Do you watch "The Hills"? depends. are they alive with the sound of music?
Last CD you played? ummm.. whatever was hip in... 1998. Ricky Martin?
What did you do last Saturday night? went out and daaaaanced.
Which one of your friends is going to have the cutest baby? all babies are cute, but... probably ladyplantagenet
</lj>What is the theme of your bedroom? Ana.
Wearing any bracelets? My daddy's watch.
Last thing someone bought for you? heh, a beer.
What are you going to do now? answer more of these questions. Then go pee.
What went down in your last argument? some egoes.
What should you be doing right now? getting up soon.
What do you hear? house noises. and despair.
Whats your favourite Boy/ Girls name: Ana and Iva for a girl. (seriously.) I don't have a favorite boys name-- i'd probably just default to Ante or something.
Do you have any new pets? No
Current annoyance? the McCain/Palin ticket. And pedestrians.
Are you giving up/ changing something about your life? I am, actually.
Whats the last text message you recieved? something cute from Christine. I miss her sooo!!!!!
But today I changed my LJ username to AMFORA (i don't feel like explaining the reference.)
Last night I went to SKYE BAR with a friend--and partied like a Mexican. Then friend and I snuck into a freshman dorm, hung out, ate pizza, and later jaywalked. (because jaywalking is illegal.)
ALSO: i do plan to start a new blogging season once i master the art of time management.
So--- im still too busy for a real post, but I'll make some time to point out a couple things:
1) The ladies who blog for Jezebel mocked Biden for referring to "Bosniacs" in the VP debate. (actually, it's Bosniaks, but you can't expect privileged liberal snarkettes to know shit these days.)
2) A group of terrorists gassed a Mosque in Ohio--- but you know, it's not a hate crime if the victims are Muslim children.
3) McCain doesn't want to be Obama's friend. "i hope you step in dog poop, senator. The mealwormy kind."
Also: studying Russian makes me feel complete again.
I don't get much opportunity to blog anymore-- it's super time-consuming and TOTALLY gratifying to work for the Obama Campaign. (otherwise i swear, i'd be updating more often.)
Oh speaking of campaign, i've been promoted to field manager. (Because I am THAT badass an asset to the ass party.)
heeee haaaw
On Saturday I went to Ellie's wedding, and oh, it was loveliness... squared! So much so, that the nuptials deserve their own post. (i dont want to stuff it at the bottom of an entry, like some inconvenient afterthought.)
Suffice it to say that the bride was absolutley radiant.... she glowed! I'mma dedicate my next post to her big day--- so be on the lookout for that.
Till then, I'll be on the streets, registering voters.
I spent five hours canvassing for Obama change and got horribly sunburned in the process. My canvassing partner was really sexy though-- so that made up for the sunburn.
Also, I really really hate [some] Christians right now:
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? somebody with good news! 2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? only when i'm shopping with my mother. Because.. she makes me. 3. If you could kiss the last person you kissed, would you? Yes. (hopefully not right after he's had a cigarette, though. Cause tobacco kissies aren't very yummy.)
4. Do you take compliments well? I do, in the sense that I accept them unapologetically. (I don't subscribe to false modesty, as it's pretentious, and ingenuine.)
5. Do you play Sudoku? No, but my mother does!
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? I'd like to think I'd be resourceful enough to manage on my own..
7. Do you like tongue rings? I think drilling holes into one's flesh is never a good idea-- although I have pierced ears, so what do I know?
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I went to Mexico and Croatia, as a kid.
9. How do you feel right now? cunty. (and proud of it!)
10. What are you listening to right now? 'Ako Trazis Nekoga´by Prljavo Kazaliste 11. Are you easy? On the contrary, I am very difficult.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs? I don't think so. (Not long term, anyway.)
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I actually prefer pursuing. (although the opposite ends up happening much more often.)
14. Use three words to describe yourself at the moment? sullied, sallied, solid. (that's right.)
15. Do any songs make you cry? Any song listed under 'mournful ethnic' in my ipod. 16. Are you continuing your education? Why yes I am. (and it looks like i'll be continuing it for a looong time to come. Hello, grad school...)
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? Ew, no. I hate all weapons.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab? it's a tossup between my cellphone, and my hamster.
19. Who was the last person you shared a bed with? A very nice boy, with a very bad smoking problem! (ahem.)
20. Are you a virgin? No. And ps, that question doesn't make sense-- except maybe in Jesus La-la land, where NOT having been penetrated, constitues an actual state, to identify one's self by. 21. Favorite children's movie? Ljepotica i zvjer.
22. What color are your eyes? Bright green.
23. How tall are you? just under 5'6" 24. What do you weigh? I have no idea. (and i don't care.) I'm hot, and i'm healthy, baby!
25. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you? No thanks.
26. Any secret admirers? Many not-so-secret ones. (most of which, I'd rather kept it a secret!)
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? yes, back when Lane Ave Mall had one/existed
28. Where's the last place you went? Science and engineering lab. 29. What song sounds like you? Johnny says its green eyes by coldplay..But sometimes I think it might be the soundtrack to The Hours... 30. Do you like Taco Bell? No, although I did accompany a friend there last night!
31. What radio station do you listen to? Radio Ana's i-pod.
32. Do you like mustard? On the occasional slice of bread.
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Depends. Am I hungry or am I sleepy?
34. Do you look like your mom or dad more? I look like an exact mix of both of my grandmothers.
35. How long does it take you to shower? I've cut it down to 5 minutes, (as showers are among the biggest contributers to Global warming.)
36. Can you do a split? No, but I'ddo someone in Split. (wink.)
37. What movie do you want to see right now? Baby Momma!
38. Whats the last movie you saw? Smart People.
39. What did you do for New Years? I hung out with some friends-- one of whom tried to slut-shame me. (but who has since apologized many times over.)
40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy? Didn't see it. And yes
41. Whats your ringtone? vibrations. (Mmm, yes, i like those.)
42. Ringback tone? um.. more vibrations? 43. Where do you work? I just applied to "Pitaya" which is a ridiculously overpriced clothing store, on High street.
44. Who's number one on your top friends? Why? My sister-- why? I gave her my password, and she put herself there.
45. Who's your best friend? I don't believe one person can be everything to anyone-- so instead, I have lots of people that satisfy different emotional/spiritual/intellectual sides of me.
46. Who do you miss right now? my family.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? SLEEP at night? What is this, highschool?
48. Whats the closest yellow object to you? My heart.
49. What do you buy at the Movies? Tickets, generally. And sex.
50. Do you know how to play poker? No. (although I did just write a paper on 'Cincinnati Kid' and 'Rounders.' Does that count?)
51. Do you wear your seatbelt? Always. (although when i'm driving, i'd prefer to be wearing two...) 52. What do you wear to sleep? boyshorts and bright green tanktop.
53. Anything big ever happen in your town? lots of accidents, judging by the all the sirens...
54. Doing anything today? I'm editing my paper. (but... last night I went to a concert, which should cancel out the initial lameness of my response.) 55. Favorite TV show? Sex and the city! (although I have issues with its classism, white-washing, and biphobia.)
56. Anything coming up your not happy about? Midterms, and it's 'you're'
57. Have you ever been in love? Good question.
58. Last concert you were at? 'Our Cat Phil' (a member of which, is dating my friend Gaby.)
59. Ever been to L.A.? Yes, and i didn't get to see Hillary Duff. (Booo!) 60. Ever been out of the U.S.A.? Yes, and I cant wait to to get out again!
61. Ever been to Niagara Falls? No.
62. Planning to go anywhere this year? Manywheres!
63. Do you hate chocolate? Yes....... ...If by 'hate' you mean 'dry hump.'
64. Are you a gullible person? Is that a trick question?
65. Are you on the phone? Not a chance. (apparantley i ran up the phonebill to 438 dollars, last month... So no more calling or texting, for a while.)
66. Do you need a bf/gf to be happy? That's significant other, thank you very much. (not everyone falls into 'boyfriend/girlfriend category) And NO, I do not! 67. Do you have socks on right now? No, and my feets are blue! 68. Are you easy to get along with? No, and that will not change until society adopts a more accepting attitude.
69. What is your favorite time of day? very early in the morning--when the day still feels hopeful.
70. Do you like pink? Not really-- although malchik and I did discuss dressing our future male offspring in pink, so as not to impose additional gender norms on him.
Have any of you read Paradise Lost? And if so, would you consider it a 'Christian' work? why or why not? It occurred to me last night, that John Milton, the author, never clarifies which of its two main characters--Satan, or God, is good/evil. So either he expects the reader to approach his work with that biblical knowledge, or he is purposley equating the two divine forces with one another. (well, that's probably not a valid assumption either-- as Milton was himself a devout Christian. Still it's important to note that books are only as meaningful as the effect they have on their reader, and in this case, if the reader were.. say, a Satanist, or simply not familiar with Christian doctrine, it may not be obvious to her who to root for--Yaweh, or his noble adversary.)
In fact, on many occasions in the poem, Satan actually refers to God as a tyrant, bent on taking over the universe-- and those claims are never really refuted, except...maybe through some subtle narration. For example: after one particularly angry tirade against the almighty-- in which the dark prince outlines a plan to overthrow him-- the narrator (who may or may not be Milton,) slyly declares: "So spake the apostate angel, though in pain, /Vaunting aloud, but racked with deep despair."
'vaunting aloud, but racked with deep despair?' See, to me that quote says... "dismiss everything Satan just said, cause he's one bitter motherfucker.¨ (doesn't it?) But other than that (rather telling) line i don't find many clear instances of Satan's position being undermined, or even decried. Aaaand on the flip side, God is never portrayed all-that-luminously either-- unless of course, once again, the reader is expected to come in with that holy bias.
*sighs*
This is what I love/hate about religious pieces-- they're written for religious audiences. And... ya know, for lame-ass English majors who desperately need to get l4id.
For those of you who speak uh, Balkan. (not in the mood to type Croatian/Montenegran/Serbian/Bosnian-- oh dammit, look what happened.) here's Ne daj se Inesrecited by Rade Seberdzija. So like, if you have a moment to spare, i'd really suggest closing your eyes, and letting it play...
(Yes, I realize the waves on the beach are a little kitschy, but if you're a commoner like me, then you're not above the occasional pretentious soundbyte-- particularly, those accompanying Serbedzija's soft, scintillating murmurs...[Oh, he's on my list of old guys to do, in case you were wondering..])
What else did I unbriefly want to add? *This weekend I finally got to meet my three-month-old cousin, Luis! (my uncle Jorge, and his wifebot came to visit us from Mexico, and naturally brought along their little brown tyke...for me to play with, and bounce around. [and get puked on. Thrice. (it was milky.)]
*Aaand next Saturday, a friend of mine is visiting from L.A (hint: it may or may not be Hillary Duff.)
Actually, this dude--which still doesn't rule Duff out -- is all kinds of sweet, and considerate. Cause originally he had been planning to fly directly into Columbus-- (4 hrs, one way, not a big deal, right?) But since I told him i'd feel awkward having him stay at my place, (hello, vulnerable female here?) he's gonna wing it to Cleveland instead, and then fucking drive down to Columbus from there, just to spend one afternoon with me. (cue obnoxious chorus of 'awwws.')
So yeah, i'm really touched that he (or anyone) would go to such lengths on my behalf-- although I can't say that i'm all that surprised... cause I am a brilliant bitch, see.. And as such, feel entitled to the occasional grandiose gesture. (but am willing to settle for some organic hot chocolate in lieu of that!) *Mmm also..(and yes, it bears restating,) I LOVE my classes this quarter. [like, reallyreallyreally!] Indeed, they make me happier than a tangy tub of tiramisu --splattered over a herd of dancing, naked men-- ever could! (unless of course, one of said men were Rade Serbedzija. Or Hillary Duff.)
*grin* . . .
Aaaanyway, next time I post, I promise to talk a lot about books, and movies.... and other such grimy facets of intellectual snobbery...(aye, to both stimulate and savage your [collectively] privileged, and prurient pathologies.)
I've decided it's not very fair that diamondscan gets to be the only person who knows about my lovelife. (we had coffee on Monday, and well, i ended up spilling all my kinky secrets to her. Cause i'm indiscreet like that.) So in an effort to enlighten the rest of you, i'mma spend the next couple minutes not telling you what's going on. While... simultaneously, umm, telling you. (via songs and silences.)
[Yes, i enjoy witholding information--- it gives me distinct, and/or indistinct feelings of absolute power. Mwahahaha ]
But I digress. What y'all really need to know is: i'm currently involved with a very sweet boy who (luckily for me), is under the impression that he has to agree with/do everything i say, in order to maintain his current status as mantoy main squeeze. And um, I haven't exactly bothered correcting this erroneous assumption, as it's been working out pretty nicely for me. And also for him. (cause quite frankly, what dude wouldn't be better off, listening to his lady? )
Anyway we'll see how this shiz progresses. (or not. Because as i mentioned earlier, i'm all about witholding (heart)breaking news. [get it? it's a pun.])
. . .
Kinky manlove aside though, i've got lots of my own stuff going on-- namely my WONDERFUL new writing class (<3), but also a) a hot new excercize regime[n] b) (occasionally) overzealous activism involving some justified lawbreaking. c) writingwritingwriting, d) non-zealous activism involving no lawbreaking. (less fun, but just as effective.) e) fierce friendships fueled by [shared interests in] food/feminism/film/fucking f) my role as defacto serbo-croatian instructor BCS bitch. (Seriously, someone just asked me: 'why 'bilonas je malo? Why not bili nas je malo?' And naturally, I felt like answering: 'Because bili nas je malo makes you sound like a jackass.' but since my therapist and I recently discussed self control [in lieu of birth control], I managed to bite my tongue, and offer up a weak smile, followed by an uninspired run-down of genetive plural. Go me.)
Other than that, i'm not really sure what to say-- there's much left to relate i'm sure, but i can only focus on a select number of anecdotes at once. (I am after all, human... though it may not always appear that way, given my awkward metaphysicallity. [johnny calls it 'magic', but i think he's missing the point. They always do.] )
Anyway, before signing off, i'd like to flash you with a brief glimpse of my namesake... (filtered through a foggy male lense; making her all the more appropriately tragic..)
Ya know what makes me kinda nauseated (well, among a slew of other things)? That ridiculous phrase.. 'premarital sex', because it stupidly implies that 'marital sex' is the wholesome, God-approved, standard of sexing-- when in fact, um, God could care less about whom(s) you boink. (sorry to break it to you. But .. ya know, that's what prophets are for...) See kids, the liberating makigal truth of the matter is that...all sexual intercourse is equally insignificant, (as far as its impact on the universe.) And, more importantly it's NOT a function of matrimony, but rather, a function of friskiness. (Baboons do it. )
Oh and contrary to the bullshit you'll find in any religious book, le lovemaking is not a holy/dirty act either. Indeed, elevating it to that kind of pedestal is exactly why our culture has such screwed up views about sexuality, and in turn, its sorry subclass: Women. (who unfortunately are trafficked, abused and violated, in said 'sacred' act's pursuit.)
Get it now? If sex weren't given so much cultural importance, women wouldn't systematically be reduced to their 'role' in its rompy actualization. (And wouldn't that be speshul?)
So like, do me (and womankind) a giant favor, and drop 'premarital sex' from your vocabulary -- As it's all kinds of judgemental, and offensive, and misleading.
Final thought before signing off: Your church-approved hubby-humping isn't more legitimate than my scandalous relationship shennanigans. Mmmmkay? Sex is sex is sex is sex. Is sex.
Dear world, Contrary to the lies and propaganda our misogynist media keeps feeding you, consuming calories is NOT a political statement-- it's merely an efficient means of recieving nourishment, which (according to some physicians,) is key to our survival, and overall well-being. (Look it up!) So if you could just let me gnosh on this giant muffin, ummm, without raising your (no-doubt) impeccably-waxed eyebrows in my direction, that would be great!
See, this might surprise you, but not all women are obsessed with dieting, and not all of us give a shit what you think. No really, it's true: What I put in my mouth is none of your fucking business. It's not up for discussion, it's not material for speculation, it's not justifiable cause for panic-- it's my bloody lunch. K?
Thank you, and shut up.
Sincerely, --your local sad-eyed dweller of eateries and lowlands, alike.
If Yann Tiersen hadn't already, I would have most certainly composed summer 78 for you. (Except i'd call it Summer 87, because well, that was a better year for us.)
As for the rest of y'all, just try to be patient as I finish up my exams. Mmmkay?
Oh and while it's not in my place (or in anyone's place for that matter) to compare sexism and racism-- because ya know, people experience them differently, I think it's fair to point out that certain expressions of sexism, are more acceptable--in politics-- than their racist equivalents. (whatever 'equivalent' means.) Then again, maybe I'm just too illusioned by my white privilege to make such a judgement?
I'm willing to admit that's true-- although you'd certainly be hard-pressed to find half as many punch-lines about Obama's race as there are about Clinton's gender. (Eto pravda!) Clinton is consistantly the subject of vagina jokes, (omgz Hillary has a vagina!) kitchen jokes, lesbian jokes, fat jokes, old woman jokes, bitch jokes, and the like. And i'm really getting tired of it. (Even Anne Coulter, of whom I am NOT a fan gets it for being a woman...which angers me almost as much as some of the shit she says. And no, the 'tranny' comparisons are not funny. They're umm, transphobic.)
Anyway, I hope I didn't just play right into the patriarchy's divide-and-conquer scheme, with my 'oppression olympics' bit, so let me rephrase for a second.. It's wrong to try to compare sexism and racism.--both are oppressive, and shitty in their own way. However, in the realm of politics, where 'strength' (a feature most commonly attributed to males) is key, gender seems to be a bit more pressing of an issue, than race (because remember, a woman in office could get her period, and then... ya know, decide to blow up the country! Oh noes!) So while a white Christian male would be ideal, (hahaha!) a good-looking light-skinned black male with youthful energy, charm and a killer smile, would, I believe face less adversity for his 'unfavorable' status, than an older, intelligent white woman of similar credentials.
Meaning, this goes beyond race vs. gender--and into other forms of privilege, relative to the situation.... Mmmmkay?
Oh and speaking of sexism, (and when aren't we, after all?) I was actually reprimended the other night for not being feminine enough! (by like, a 30 year old russian male. Anyone surprised?) It was the greatest thing ever--cause like, this malchik had clearly never heard of a badass concept like 'organic' or 'chic'--- both of which define my style pretty accurately. (i like to rock the makeup-free, skinny jeans, cool jacket, black handbag combo. Mmmhm.) And as most of you know, that shit make me look hottt, -- Oh, but not according to this kid, who i swear to God, was actually offended that I hadn't caked on a layer of rouge*, before making his glorious acquaintance. (umm, my bad.) 'it's not nice for women to be out in public with bare face,' he complained. 'it's not nice for guys like you to be out in public, period,' I quipped back.
Yup, as you can see ljudi, I am ready to tackle chauvinism, at a moments notice! (usually at the expense of my blood pressure, but... such is life.)
Aaaanyway, I must be off now. But before I hoof it, i'd like to remind everyone living in Ohio to vote for Hillary Clinton! DOWN WITH MALE DOMINANCE!
I won't get into details, except to say that great fun was definitely had. Oh and sushi!! As well as multiple coffee dates, and yes, dudeage. (a few of which managed to stand apart from their manly competitors. Mmmm, I very much likey when this happens!)
I don't want to be one of those girls that goes on about guys-- because really, they are a useless, albeit spermy, sort of minion, but...but... it does feel nice to be pursued-- something i hadn't encouraged all year long. (ask me why. I might not lie to you.)
The thing is, that while my body-image and self-esteem are generally very high (except on those rare occassions when i'm standing next to mortals hotter than myself, damn you Helen of Troy!) I do occassionally neglect to flaunt my fabulousness. And that's what i did all weekend-- flaunting. (and writing, but that's beside the point.)
When asked by my girls, whether I was in fact, venturing out on dates, I honestly replied that I wasn't: Getting your flirt on with a delicious fellow who covets your attention, is monumentally different from dating. Dating implies equality, see... whereas basking in a bleary-eyed bloke's adoration, implies... ummm, hotness, and sexual power.
Maybe i'll start dating though? depending largely on whim, that is. (and no, dating is not a euphemisim for fucking. Fucking is a euphemism for fucking.)
Hmmm..what else did I want to say on this, and other subjects? (warning: list to follow!) *Let's see....I'm currently semi-amused with upwards-of-two Bulgarians. (but not necessarily that much upwards.) What does this imply about me? Well, it could mean I am slowly gravitating away from my comfort zone. Or it could mean, i'll forever have a foot stuck in the Balkans. (i hope this isn't the case. although it looks like it might be.)
*On Friday, I got called a 'smartass' by my TA-- a phrase he immediately retracted, before replacing it with the much gentler-sounding 'firecracker'. I however, was not upset by either of these utterances, as both of them, in my opinion, do me justice. (And also, they... do me. hehe!)
*i've recently developed an obsession with the poetry of William Carlos Wiliams.
*On that note, i'd like to add that while i still find Pablo Neruda's work absurdly cheesy, I kind of like it when translated into Croatian..
*A girlfriend of mine and I, are planning to attend a queer movie fest, together-- However, when I mentioned this fact to a now-offically-lame guyfriend of mine, he reacted with shock and horror. (watching movies about gay people might mean we're really gay. Just like, watching any hollywood movie movies about straight people automatically makes you straight. Get it?)
*On Saturday night I was at a Turkish shop, with my friend Natalie--looking at various pieces of imported jewellery, when a bright blue ring caught my eye. It looked not unlike the one I purloined from my godmother many moons ago, and yes, I was displeased by this realization.
genocidetoday wrote a very interesting post last week, (with rape triggers) about (the war in/ history of) Bosnia. I suggest you check it out. No seriously, click on the link and read--unless of course, you want to sound like an uneducated asshole for the rest of your life--which is always an option, I suppose. (That reminds me: last year some kid actually asked me whether 'Sarajevo's in.. Croatia' to which I responded ''Umm, not so much.' )
Oh and since we're on the topic of les Balkanzz, I should probably mention that Bojana, (a penpal of mine from Belgrade) has asked me to PLZZ post an article from the pro-Serb Russian media-- as a way to promote 'both' sides of the Kosovo independence issue. (since apparantley there are two sides to freedom.)
So here are the Russian reports, draga: Сербы разгромили Белград --Белград потихоньку приходит в себя после погромов, которые учинили накануне вечером противники независимости Косова. Потушены пожары, охватившие посольства США и Хорватии, а также множество мелких очагов возгорания в центре города....так и в сербских анклавах Косово привела к абсолютно противоположному результату – конфликт разгорелся с ещё большей силой.
Yep. Serbs still attacked the American and Croatian embassies, when they didn't get their way. (a fact she claimed, had been distorted by the evil Western media.) And they are still behaving like destructive jackasses for the most part-- (which if you clicked on the first link, wouldn't surprise you.)
And for the record, I am SICK of Serbs*/ Serb-sympathizers attempting to control the shit I post. See, the inconvenient thing about inflicting genocide, oppression, rape, torture, and the like--is that umm, people eventually find out about it. (I know, the world is so unfair!) And when that happens, said actions get circulated-- via every news outlet in the world.
You can't control the freeflow of information, mmkay? However, you can control your own actions... so like, instead of blaming the 'biased' Western media, how about you stop slaughtering, looting, raping, pillaging, abusing, and oppressing? That way, everybody wins!
Secondly, I want to comment on the 'accusations' that i'm just being 'bitter and angry.' (because of course that would negate the legitimacy of the articles im posting.) So yes, you got me there, kids--I am VERY bitter and angry. I don't know whether y'all can recall, but last year, Serbia got cleared of genocide...and instead of being grateful, instead of thanking God every single day, that they were spared of a charge for which they were guilty, Serbs kept on feeling entitled, and self righteous. They kept demanding to get everything their way, and then unleashing violence, when that didn't happen. In light of the atrocities they committed, and all the subsequent breaks they were MERCIFULLY afforded, they really should have reacted with more humility, when Kosovo was (rightfully) taken from them. I mean, those consequences were fucking lenient in comparison to the terror they systematically imparted on the rest of the region for... decades. (and longer.)
The fact is that Serbia cannot, CANNOT, CANNOT expect to maintain its status as king-of-the-Balkans- while simultaneously wiping out its non-serb subjects. NO. NO. NO. NO. THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS.
There's a reason everyone--Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Macedonia, Montenegro, and Kosovo declared independence from their asses. Because they were abusing us. So after all of that--after the devastation they created, (most of which has yet to be accounted for) how they could even DARE to keep playing the victim, just infuriates, and bewilders me. You want to know who the real victims are? People like this guy who survived Srebrenica.
Seriously, i can't even write about this shit anymore, because whenever I do, I get so angry I start to cry.
*Yes, I know that not all Serbs (scroll down to Mirjana's comment) are like this.
I promised y'all another update. (and behold how aptly i've delivered, eh?!)
But before kicking off with today's post, let me just relay a few news-items off-- which should be of paramount interest to you all. (well, i assume, since you are reading this blog, that you're a fan of international feminism. Or... ya know, a fan of me. *grin* )
So without further ado: 1) The UN's commision on the Status of women, is back! This year, their noble goal is 'financing for gender equality, and the empowerment of women.' (Awesome!)
2) A recent study in Toronto suggests that young girls are being socialized to view sexual harassment as a 'normal' part of growing up. (AHHH!) Obviously, the implications of such a mindset are...devastating. But not surprising.
3) Emma Thompson refuses to take part in Hollwood's lookist culture. (Swoon!)
Aaaand that just about wraps up today's link section. Thank you for your patience!
But moving on to zexier topics now, ummm, I should probably let y'all know that i've gotten kinda super-awesome at cooking. No really, I have! (Iva, if you giggle, i will break your cello in half.) I guess living on my own has inspired me to hown my inner domestic craftiness? Or maybe I was just tired of subsisting off of bagels and tuna....
Either way, i've been having people over for dinner like CRAZY to show off my newly- acquired kitchen prowess. And oh, how prowessy the results have been! How soft and tender the tortellini! How pillowy the potatoes! ( Well, i've never actually served potatoes, but.. ya know, here in eljayland, alliteration trumps facts.) :D
What else did I want to add? Oh yeah, if any of you are interested, or have the time-- i'd ask that you take a look at Porphyria's lover by Robert Browning. (I know Ellen has!:) It's a gothic poem that suppposedly challenges gender roles, but... in my humble opinion, doesn't challenge shit! (sorry, but there is nothing progressive about eroticizing violence against women.)
Take this excerpt, for example:
"That moment she was mine, mine, fair, Perfectly pure and good: I found A thing to do, and all her hair In one long yellow string l wound Three times her little throat around, And strangled her. No pain felt she; I am quite sure she felt no pain. As a shut bud that holds a bee, I warily oped her lids: again Laughed the blue eyes without a stain. And l untightened next the tress About her neck; her cheek once more Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:"
What do you guys think? Any comments?
For the record, my English teacher really liked my criticisms of the poem--calling them 'relevent, sharp, and original.'
*beams*
Aaaand speaking of beaming, (hehe) one of my (latent) crushes has recently resurfaced, to inform me of his (mutual?) more-than-friends inclinations toward me. (yay.) While i'm all kinds of flattered to hear that i'm on this dude's girl-dar, I can't say my feelings for him go beyond the mandatory glee which always accompanies a satisfying verbal exchange. (and our verbal exchanges are always veeery satisfying. The boy has wit!)
The reason I bring this up, is because it higlights the whole unspoken 'crush rules' we all secretly live by. See, I personally believe everyone has a crush hierarchy-- and the key is, never to settle below A-level crushes. (the B and C levels are only there for amusement, and...casual cunnilingus. (I kid! I kid!))
So at this point i'm not quite sure where this manbot places, although he definitely isn't someone i connect with on any significant level.. Still, i like him well enough. And find his antics to be very sweet, and charming.
what does that say about me? Absolutley nothing.
I was just making an observation. (albeit, with the sneaky intent of inciting drama.) My sorries!
Anyway, it's time for me to shift my attention back to Russian. But before signing off, I'd like to take a moment to send some lovies to my little sister-- who is in New Mexico for the week. (on officious cello business.) LOVE YOUUU IVIS!!!!
Seriously, at this point, i'm not buying the whole-- 'orthodox BFFs 4EVER' bullshiz. I think Serbia and Russia quite frankly, have a mutual hard-on for one another, and are afraid to admit it. (especially since both countries boast uniquely homophobic/sexist societies.)
Wait, don't believe me? Watch them beating up their own queer country(wo)men, at Belgrade's gay parada-- while chanting 'kill faggots!'WARNING: VERY TRIGGERING
I know, right?
I mean that shit is appalling. Although not very surprising, given Serbia's track record. (google it.) Even at the recent Kosovo- protest in Belgrade, (during which Serbs attacked our United States embassy--leaving one person dead, and many injured) Serbs were caught chanting 'Kill Albanians' oh and-- (amusingly enough) looting their own city. (which, to their credit, is a significant improvement from before--when they were.. ya know, looting other people's cities.)
You can see them in thieverous action here: ( some comprehension of BCS would probably be useful in maximizing your viewing experience.)
Oh and speaking of BCS comprehension, I had the profound privilege of tutoring a lovely young lad in that very same field, this morning. And oy, was it a long, arduous process... Mali nije imao pojma.
Although, from a linguistic perspective-- I found the mistakes he was making, rather fascinating--as they served to highlight the limitations and frustrations monolinguals are frequently faced with, when taking on a second language.
Take for example, the following mini-conversation we had, during which moj mali student attempted to tell me about his weekend.
Him: "Ja ne secam se..." (I look up sharply) "I mean... Ja se ne secam (I relax) sta film ja sam video." Me: (frowning) 'Kako.. sta film si video? Mislis koji film?' Him: Ja ne znam.
It's a brilliant mistake, really-- the literal translation of 'what.' And it makes me wonder whether our brains are wired differently--depending on the language we speak-- and how that wiring affects the associations we naturally make. For example, I would never confuse 'shto' and 'kakoi' in Russian, because my brain's been trained from early on, to seperate 'what' from 'what kind'-- albeit in Croatian. (cool, huh?)
Another thing I observed about BCS students, is their (almost paranoid) tendency to avoid droppinging those redundant pronouns. Mmmhmm. See, klinci, you really really don't need to say 'Ja ne znam' every single time. In fact, the extra ja usually just makes you sound like an asshole... (it's the truf, yo.) To be fair though, that shit does get trickier when word order comes in to play...("Meni se svidja" versus "svidja mi se") but still-- take a risk, for once! Failure is part of the process!
What else did I want to add? Moja (vrlo pametna) cimerica je preko vikenda, slucajno obojala kosu u... ljubicasto.
Aaaand i'll end it on that note. More shiz to come tomorrow.
I know y'all are probably expecting a brilliant post on Kosovo, and all the mad shenannigans surrounding its liberation-- but sadly, I have exhausted that topic on other non-eljay related venues.
So at the risk of sounding less-than brilliant, let me just reiterate that yes, Kosovo deserved freedom from Serbian oppression, tyranny, and abuse! Granted, it's a strong statement, which has unfortunately caused tensions between myself and some of my Serbian acquaintances. (Indeed, many a Balkanic coffee date stands to be canceled. *sniff*) But regardless, its a cause I shall continue to trumpet-- fearlessly, and unapologetically. As i've always done.
I have never shut my mouth to please anyone-- not the patriarchy, not my boyfriends, not my girlfriends, not my family, not liberals, not conservatives, not God. And I wont shut my mouth now. I believe in freedom for Kosovo, because i know what Serbian chauvinism, and aggression ultimately leads to:
(not to mention their recent attacks on US embassy, and subsequent refusal to accept responsibility for said attacks.) ....
But uh, enough about Serbs. (Bad transition. My sorries!) What really matters, is that I have successfully kept a clean bedroom for an entire quarter now-- indeed, my carpets are vacuumed, my clothes are folded, and my bedsheets are bright orange.
Mmmmhm.
Oh and yesterday I cooked a vegan dinner for my lovely friend Julie, who in turn graced me with a reading from her dandy set of victorian tarot cards. Without revealing too much, let me just say that my ability to tap into the cosmos, is...slightly ridiculous.
And as chewy as the chocolates that your (very unimaginative) boyfriend might have given you, were-- try to keep in mind the countless women that are battered, raped, and assaulted each year, by their boyfriends.
V-day, in the feminist sphere, is a day of action and protest against gendered violence. So, while you're out frolicking in the aisles of hallmark, make a mental note to join a pro-woman organization--like Vox; Planned Parenthood, Naral, RAINN, etc. It might save a woman's life. (In fact, just this Tuesday, I myself became a member of Vox.)
And of course, keep an eye out for that sexist V-day advertising--particularly ads that directly contribute to the masculine culture of dominance, under le shiteous guise of 'romance.' (i.e. a billboard for a diamond store, that reads: 'Sometimes it's ok to throw rocks at a girl.' Ugh!)
Lastly, i'd like to remind everyone that Valentine's day, (while undoubtably lots of fun for all ye lucky lovebirds) is really a heteronormative, sexist, capitalist, and contrived asshol-iday, during which the CEO's of Hallmark, Hershey's, and Wallgreens, collectively sit back, and wait for the linings of their pockets to explode. Yes, love and romance are dandy and swell --but they should be incorporated into your daily routine, not just when the corporate calender calls for it. Capisce?
Sweet.
Oh and.. heh, as for my personal valentine's day plans? Well, funny you should ask! See, I've got a superhot date with miss Hillary 08--who quite frankly, could kick your boyfriend's ass. Mmmmhm. ZZZIIING!
1) 'I like it when your eyes go back and forth like that. You always seem to be judging everyone.'
I looked up. 'Actually, my job is to collect data, not to pass judgement. I like to observe without coming to conclusions.' 'Then um, what's the point of observing?'
'Empathy, I guess.'
2)
'How old are you?'
'Twenty.'
'Oh. Want me to get you something then?' 'What? Like a drink?' 'Yeah.'
'No, I don't expect you to break the law for me.' 'What do you expect?'
'Do you have any gum?'
3)
'You have a very sweet accent.' 'Actually my accent is pretty bitter' (laughs) 'Ok. What does that mean?' 'Well, It's a product of many different cultures. It's not really anchored anywhere... it stands all by itself.' 'Ok.' (walks away)
Sarah tried opening up to me, that morning while I was fixating on the dishes. 'are you listening?' she'd whimper. 'We're out of detergent. Yes.' * * *
Aaaand the most meaningful exchange transpired two days later, in a crowded bookstore-- (while i was digging around for something healthy to read.):
'Fridays suck' T complained loudly. 'Everyone's fucking drunk.' 'Mmhm, and brutally honest,' I added, smiling. 'No one likes to hear the truth.'
i'm not sure whether love is worth mentioning at this point-- but, since we're on the topic. (and you did bring it up.) I should probably let you know, that things are progressing.
-they are? Um, how exactly?
See, sometimes, two people... they--
-they fool eachother.
No, that's not what I was going to say. But thanks for interrupting.
-I just.. don't want to see you... you know, end up like...
What? Like I did last time?
-Yeah.
And so it went, back and forth-- Yana with her caffeinated contrivance, and me with my boiled realism. (Or was it some latent form of hope?)
And then: 'I'm not immature like I used to be.' (terse. dark. savage.)
-But see, I think you are. I think you're crazy crazy crazy.
What makes me you say that? (she laughs. bitterly.)
- Um, well for one thing, you eat seaweed.
It's Japanese.
-Which, you're...not.
Can we talk about love again?
-OK. What do you want to say about love.
What do YOU want to say about love?
-I think it's beautiful, when it's real.
Can it be real between two girls?
- Absolutely it can. But your girl is...bullshitting you. - I mean.. that shit is easier to see from the outside... you know? . . . -Dammit, why are you so quiet?
You hurt me.
(Grim. blue. Lots and lots of blue.)
Hey tell me something. Were you jealous?
-Fuck you.
I'm serious.
-Oy.. please don't reduce my complicated overly-involved.. predicament to a simple petty emotion like jealousy, okay? It's shiteously primitive.
Sorry.
-I'm happy for you... if you truly believe you've found something extraordinary. I just don't believe you believe that.
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amfora's journal
see? simple and classy. 
mmmm!
